ive beeen overwhelmingly stressed out lately only cuz skoo is wrapping up and im quickly approaching finals not only im a caving under this pressure but ive recently started working again so my time for me and skoo has completely gone out the window again i havent even gotten paid yet to make things more unworth the bull shit and stress but my new co workers are really great to be around weve become really tight and its odd but i never thought i would find people who are as lively as myself and were all crazy mofos which is really great on of the guys is throwing a cookout/party on sat i was planning on going to a sweet 16 with my other friends but this cookout might be more of my scene perhaps i can attend both.what ever helps me keep my mind off of my love. i mean any thing helps i feel like i cant really stand the pain when i slow down and remember my yesterdays with him alll the laughs and tears i kno no one reads what i have to say but if u did i would ask do you think its wrong when some one tells you they love but then do things that hurt you and when you say hey wtf i care bout u i would never wanna hurt you or make you upset they turn around and tell you thats how it is and u accept it but ur not going to change me.i love him but he always leaves me hes thrown me a side several times at first i thought well, hey, loves a scary thing he just needs time but the fact still remains when were good were insperable but when its bad its like neither of us can breathe and both of us die alittle inside i dont want him to love me just because hes used to me altho 4 years is a long time its not like they were solid or all about me in four years weve gone through so many things its like a fukkin soap opera hes my rock star and i think a part of me will always love him but another part jus wants to let go because its not what i want i dont want to be the favorite girlfriend i thought i meant more than that but i dont i mean what makes me so great. if he finds some one better it would break me but i think it would be for the best cuz it would help me realise what it is i need to reach that point of no return